Thursday, July 9, 2015

Women Are Scary

Women are Scary is supposed to get your attention, make you question, make you laugh but like most  of the relationships it's describing, at the core is something necessary that has a lot of heart.

I had intended to write this review before our second little arrived, instead I ended up remembering it's pages as we spent our week in the NICU waiting for our little one to gain enough strength to come home.

Women are Scary is a truth many moms can face with the so-called "mommy wars" and the general insecurities that can accompany gaining responsibility for the life of a helpless human being.
Since welcome our oldest two years ago I've found myself battling PPD alongside the general trying to unravel just how one does make friends with other mommies. I long ago admitted I am an introvert and while I can make small talk, insecurities about social interactions along with an inability to shut up about my passions (sci-fi, adoption, counselling issues and the church) tend to make friendships a hard won achievement.

Melanie Dale's book is brilliant in it's simplicity.
I'm guessing many moms reading this will probably not be overwhelmed by new knowledge (unless teething is currently underway at home in which case most information could be considered overwhelming). Most of this book is reiterating information most of us already know but we've forgotten or simply have decided it no longer applies now that we've moved into adulthood.

For me, the strength of Melanie's book is her presentation.
Here is a book about friendship that feels like sitting down with a friend over coffee (or tea if you'rea dreaded tea drinker like myself ;) ).
I recognize that not all readers will resonate with her humour, sci-fi references, etc. . . but it's just like in real life - some people are never meant to be more than first base acquaintances and that's okay (don't worry sports don't factor too heavily into this book, even I was able to follow all the references).
In today's social media driven culture, it is refreshing to hear someone stop and point out that not everyone is going to be invited into every area of one another's life - and that's okay! Between her three bases of relationship to her chapter on saying goodbye, these practical tips and insights read as a breath of fresh air to a society that feels driven to add their brother's best friend from third grade onto various social networks.

After reading Melanie's book I had the chance to put some of her advice into practice in the unique setting of the NICU. While not an obvious first choice for striking up a conversation there was a captive audience of moms in the same boat we were in - having a child needing help - who weren't able to go anywhere else. So I did as Melanie suggested - I started with a hello. Here's the amazing thing. I don't think I found life long friends but we did talk, for a few days we shared life, and in the end the other moms weren't so scary after all.

I would recommend this book for all practical, down to earth moms who are lonely and looking for some perspective.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”